Your Parenting Style Could Reflect How You See God.

Parenting is one of the most humbling journeys in life. It shapes you as much as it shapes your children, often exposing deep truths about your beliefs, your fears, and—most importantly—your view of God.

For years, my parenting mirrored my perception of God. I grew up believing that God was primarily a taskmaster, an authority demanding perfection, obedience, and results. This belief subtly shaped how I interacted with my daughter. My expectations were high, my patience thin, and my approach to discipline focused more on compliance than connection. I thought this was love—setting her up for success by steering her in the “right” direction, which often meant my direction.

But something began to shift as I got to know God more intimately. Through His Word and my walk with Jesus, I started to see a different picture of who He is—not just a God of rules but a God of relationship. Our God is not interested in mere robotic obedience. He longs for an authentic connection with us, one rooted in love, trust, and freedom.

This understanding radically changed how I see my daughter. I realized that my parenting was rooted in control, not relationship. And control is not the way God parents us.

God walks with us. He meets us where we are, in our fears, mistakes, and messiness. He is patient, kind, and compassionate. He doesn’t demand perfection but offers grace. He doesn’t control but guides, nurturing us into who we were created to be.

As this truth settled in my heart, it began to spill over into how I parent. I started asking myself, What would it look like to parent my daughter the way God parents me?

It meant learning to walk with her instead of pulling her along a path of my choosing. It meant creating space for her to explore her personality, passions, and even her mistakes. It meant listening more and lecturing less, offering grace instead of guilt, and prioritizing connection over correction.

I stopped asking, Is she doing everything I expect? and started asking, Does she feel safe, loved, and known?

It hasn’t been easy to let go of the need to control. There are still moments when fear whispers, “What if you’re too soft? What if she makes the wrong choices?” But then I remember: God doesn’t parent out of fear, and neither should I.

One day, as we sat on the couch together after a hard conversation, my daughter looked at me and said, “Dad, thank you for not getting mad. I felt like I could tell you the truth.” That moment melted me. I realized that what God wants with us—a genuine, open relationship—is exactly what I want with her.

This journey has taught me that the way we parent is often a reflection of how we see God. If we see Him as a strict enforcer, we might parent with an iron fist. But when we see Him as a loving Father who walks with us, forgives us, and patiently grows us, our parenting becomes an overflow of His grace.

I don’t have it all figured out, and I still make mistakes. But I’m learning to let God’s love transform not just my heart but also my parenting.

If you’re a parent, I invite you to reflect on how your view of God might be shaping your parenting style. Do you see Him as distant or close, as a judge or as a loving guide? And what would change in your parenting if you started seeing Him for who He really is?

God is inviting you to a deeper relationship with Him, not based on fear or performance but on trust and love. And as you experience His grace, you’ll be able to extend that same grace to your children.

Parenting is a journey, and so is knowing God. The beauty is that as you walk with Him, He changes you—and that change flows into the lives of the ones you love most.

So take that first step. Get to know the heart of God. It just might transform the way you love your children—and the way they see God in you.

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him."
– Psalm 103:13